Dream One

I wake up in the wee hours of the morning gasping for air as if submerged in water for an eternity... Only now can I breath again. Dreams of heart break fill my eyes with tears and there is a deep cry within me.

It is the pain of others that I feel. The pain they feel when their world is crashing down. When all that they love is gone.


This is my dream:

A young mother looks after her sick son in the hospital. He has been there for years. Left immobile due to an accident that could have been avoided. Now she supports a group that aims to overthrow the authorities who did nothing to prevent such an accident. She wants a fight.

Though, now she begins to see what may happen if there was to be a war. Her son may die within the first weeks of it. Without medicine or electricity, he would not survive.
Then, she would die too. For how can she ever continue living without him? Now she realizes she has been digging her own grave. How could she ever survive without her son? She can no longer lead without him. Her world would crumble. He is the crux, the center of her life.

At this she wails. She falls and hopes her knees will catch her but even they, like everything else, fail.
There is no one there to catch her but her conscience saying it was her fault. The only one left to console her is lying in his death bed ready to move on from this world. A man appears at her side--hoping to catch her. But in response she pushes him away for he can offer her nothing. It is over for her.

I then see myself watching her from the other side of the bed; tears escaping my shut eyelids and slowly dripping down my cheeks. I can feel her pain.

It is as if a giant hammer has been used to shatter a stone wall that is me and I fall and break into a million pieces. The pieces fall and I can never find them again. I try to piece myself back together again-- but cannot. The pieces are lost. All that remain are the cracks and the sharp impact of the blow.

Now I am awake--screaming and gasping for air. There is no sound in my scream however. I take the blanket off from over my face and suddenly the pain is gone. Instead I feel the soft, warm pillow against my head and my droopy eyes remain shut. Darkness and the still nothingness of sleep invade my mind once again.

I lose consciousness, sleep once again and that is the end.


(June 4, 2012)