He rolls over to the edge of the bed, pulling all the sheets with him. Still clinging to the pillow he exhales and says again "OK", this time louder. He isn't speaking to his past, rather he is speaking to himself, now. Though he hasn't exactly been unproductive, there has been a conundrum feeling deep in his gut telling him to get moving, to get started.
"OKAY!", he finally sits up, eyes still closed however. "Time to start," he whispers to himself as he sits up. Walking to the bathroom he lets the water begin to run, waiting patiently for the water heater to start up. Occasionally touching the water to check its temperature he lets out a smile... things will be different this time around, he thinks. "Yes," he says aloud, this time with more conviction than before. He looks at his reflection in the mirror before finally getting into the shower.
Quickly he washes his hair, face, body, legs, then switches the water off. Grabbing the towel he wipes off, starting with his hair he makes his way to his face, chest, torso, then finally legs. He takes a breath, then exhales. "But what exactly am I going to start?" he asks.
After brushing, shaving, and dressing he makes his way to his kitchen to grab an apple. Instead, upon opening the fridge, he picks up some cheese and prepares a sandwich, completely forgetting about the apple. He pours a glass of orange juice but only takes a sip before heading out the door, sandwich in hand.
"Click" the door makes a sound when he turns the key to lock the entrance to his flat. "Hi, good morning", he waves to his neighbour Jack who is getting back from his morning run. "Good morning", Jack replies as he enters his own flat. "Ugh, way too messy. How could he live that way?" he thinks as he passes Jack and catches a glimpse of the flat. Scratching the nook of his neck, he now waits for the lift.
"Hello, good morning!" he greets Mary who is bringing her baby out for a walk, "lovely day for a walk".
"Indeed", Mary replies and returns the smile.
"I wonder if...", he begins but is cut short by Ana's sudden outburst of cries. "Oh dear, what is it now?" Mary worries as she picks Ana up from the pram and puts her on her shoulder, gently patting her on the back. "shhh, shhh", she tries to calm her down.
"Is she," he attempts to ask but is again cut short.
"Oh, I need to give her a quick change, looks like she had a little accident." Mary turns back towards her flat.
"Have a good day!" He says and walks into the lift that has arrived. There are three others in the lift, whom he acknowledges and smiles to before turning towards the entrance and finally finishes the cheese sandwich he prepared for himself earlier. Oddly, there is no music in the lift, as a result, every bite he takes is heard. Awkward, he thinks as he finally walks out unto the garage and into his Chevy.
Driving down the road, he suddenly remembers, it's a Saturday and there is nowhere he needs to be. "Hm, where am I going?" he thinks again. "To start", he remembers. "Now to figure out what it is I have to start", he grunts audibly in slight frustration.
"No matter, I'll figure it out," he assures himself and drives on.
He drives till the end of the lane, and takes a left. Then he continues on till he reaches the field at the tip of town and turns around again. He decides to switch the radio on-- but there is way too much talking and way too little music for his tastes, so instead he decides to continue his search in silence.
A couple of hours later, he finds himself back in his flat, back where he started.
Again, he exhales. Not in frustration, nor in contempt of what was not found, rather he breathes for he knows that something is about to happen; he must prepare himself. But what? he questions. He does not know. So still, he continues on.
|Glamourized via Kerstin Enderlein|