Just Smile

December 18, 2012

Just smile, though it hurts.

Just smile, even when it burns.

Just smile, I will myself.

How long can I just smile

How long can I fake this

How long will this last

At times it becomes real

At times I find joy

At times still, it's just a smile.

This act must end

This scene conclude

How long before the muscles tire? 

the soul give up?

Dream Two

I open my eyes then I shut my eyes. Again, I open my eyes then I shut my eyes.

I ask myself again and again whether these are all really just lies.

Could my whole life be a lie, I ask myself out loud. There couldn’t possibly be a lie so fly to keep me tied up, could there? Why is it that so many times I feel tied down when all I really want to do is get up?

Without getting an answer, I stand up and walk to the window. Tall green trees and tweeting birds are what I see and hear. Joyful they seem to be. Yet, I cannot help but remember the dream I just had.

This dream of mine is full of color. This dream is deep yet light, long yet simple. This dream is meaningful and easy.

Again and again I replay it in my head. Not wanting to get back into reality.

Though before I know it, there’s a tugging in my chest. I need to get back to today, I know.

But how could I after such a dream?

That dream where my soul flies and is free, that dream where things are not what they should be yet are beautiful as they are.

Now at the mirror I rub my weary eyes. Wanting to get back to my deep blissful slumber, I fight the urge and stay awake. I look down at the sink and see an ant. Not a big ant, not a small ant. This ant is normal and insignificant.

I look at it intently. I look at it with no expectations. Hours, minutes, seconds pass. I do not know. Still I look.

So hardworking, so eager, this ant in my sink does not see what is beyond. Yet, this ant still keeps going. This ant has fervor. This ant is free.

Free from worries. Free from problems. This ant is free to do what it was meant to do.  It was meant to help its colony…

I look up and my phone rings. Hello, I answer. Yes I'm up, I will be there soon, good-bye is what I say.  Next I am in the shower then I have my clothes on. Off to work I must go.

Before shutting the door, I remember and think, that dream I had is not so far away. That dream that was meaningful could be lived out… I close my eyes again and open them once more. I sigh and utter something no one will ever hear.

I shut the door closed. The ant crawls through a crack in the wall. Another day begins.

Edge of the World by *oO-Rein-Oo*

(Written July 16, 2012)

Dream One

I wake up in the wee hours of the morning gasping for air as if submerged in water for an eternity... Only now can I breath again. Dreams of heart break fill my eyes with tears and there is a deep cry within me.

It is the pain of others that I feel. The pain they feel when their world is crashing down. When all that they love is gone.


This is my dream:

A young mother looks after her sick son in the hospital. He has been there for years. Left immobile due to an accident that could have been avoided. Now she supports a group that aims to overthrow the authorities who did nothing to prevent such an accident. She wants a fight.

Though, now she begins to see what may happen if there was to be a war. Her son may die within the first weeks of it. Without medicine or electricity, he would not survive.
Then, she would die too. For how can she ever continue living without him? Now she realizes she has been digging her own grave. How could she ever survive without her son? She can no longer lead without him. Her world would crumble. He is the crux, the center of her life.

At this she wails. She falls and hopes her knees will catch her but even they, like everything else, fail.
There is no one there to catch her but her conscience saying it was her fault. The only one left to console her is lying in his death bed ready to move on from this world. A man appears at her side--hoping to catch her. But in response she pushes him away for he can offer her nothing. It is over for her.

I then see myself watching her from the other side of the bed; tears escaping my shut eyelids and slowly dripping down my cheeks. I can feel her pain.

It is as if a giant hammer has been used to shatter a stone wall that is me and I fall and break into a million pieces. The pieces fall and I can never find them again. I try to piece myself back together again-- but cannot. The pieces are lost. All that remain are the cracks and the sharp impact of the blow.

Now I am awake--screaming and gasping for air. There is no sound in my scream however. I take the blanket off from over my face and suddenly the pain is gone. Instead I feel the soft, warm pillow against my head and my droopy eyes remain shut. Darkness and the still nothingness of sleep invade my mind once again.

I lose consciousness, sleep once again and that is the end.


(June 4, 2012)

Look Up

Look up, son. Stand tall and listen, he said.
Life ain't easy, and you know that. 
But what you may have forgotten is that life can also be good.


At this the boy looked up, still impassive yet somewhat ready to listen.


Here, I say, perk up and listen now: the past is gone! 
Forget what was, and invite the morning in.
And who knows? Soon, we may find you up and about again...


In fact I tell you, soon you'll start yearning, yearning for something new and fresh. 
You'll find yourself craving for adventure.
And adventure I assure you will come...


So stand up, and welcome this new time.

Film.

Here are some of my favorite shots I've taken!

Monday

September 19, 2011

A boy clad in blue with a hat on his head sits alone. On a boat in a wave-less sea he sits.

Lightning strikes and the waves rise to towering heights. He looks up and is frightened. But above it all he sees an eagle and at the sight of the great bird, the waves are frozen in time. Everything is still.

The boat does not rock or move. It stays. The noise of the storm remains but it does not affect the boat anymore. All the same, the sight of the giant waves scares him.

Again, he looks up. Now there are vultures circling. Their eyes are red and hungry for blood. They have a look in their eyes with a daunting threat saying: you are mine; we’ve eaten a friend, a father, and a mentor.

Yet, higher still he knows, the eagle remains––its glory like the sun, its majesty like no other.

He fumbles on a red ribbon tied on his arm and unties it. He holds his hands out, firmly griping on the ribbon. And with a tear in his eye releases it–allowing it to be lost in the waves that surround him.

The ribbon slowly sinks to the bottom of the black unmoving sea. He watches as it is lost in the darkness…

Manille.

Three and a half months in Manila!

Has it been that long already? It's like we just left. But then again, so much has happened-- we've only been here for three months?? Ha ha ha

Sorry for being on stealth mode since we moved back to the Philippines. You can hit me up and let's plan and catch up!

Manila's so big. There are so many people here. Grabe. I can't even... So overwhelming.

And traffic makes everything seem so far away!!

Just realized I haven't taken any "crowd" shots since I've been back.
So this instead, haha.

Anyway, quick update.

I was accepted into the De Lasalle University-- I'll be studying Behavioral Science major in Organizational and Social Development Management. Hehe, try saying that five times.

De La Salle University "Yuchengco " by Philip_V

The more I think about it, the more excited I become. Yes it wasn't my first choice, or second, or even third. But I'm gonna take it. I feel good about it.

I may just shift course next year into Communication Arts (my first choice, though there wasn't any slots left which is why I was redirected into Behavioral Sci) next year. But for all I know I might just enjoy and stay, he he. We'll see!!

I'm also in denial. I'm a soon-to-be college student?? What?? (Both feeling old and feeling young. Odd, I know.)

Beach.

☼ ES TAN FÁCIL HACER LAS VALIJAS EN VERANO ☺ 

(by Gustavo Piola Fotografía)

I want to sit by the beach.

Get burned by the sun.

Relax.

Listen to this song with the sand on my toes.

Have a splendid meal.

Then laugh with friends all night long till the moon sets.